Nooo! Not the married guy again!

You won’t believe this – even I didn’t quite believe it and I was the one it was happening to! As if the last interaction with Matthew-the-cheater wasn’t bad enough, I was just trapped into another super awkward IM session with Mr. Creepy. What follows is the actual transcript of our “conversation” (might want to BYOGB – Bring Your Own Gag Bag).

M: Hey, how you? Long time no talk!
L: (not long enough!) fine, thanks.

M: I thought you didn’t like me anymore
L: Oh, why? (Really? ANYMORE?)

M: kidding, when I told you I was married I thought you didn’t like me or maybe I’m more desirable now (Oh my GOD, seriously??)
L: I didn’t like that you lied about NOT being married (pretend you didn’t see the last atrocious bit)

M: I know that was dumb of me and a very stupid move
L: but that’s just a sign that you two probably need a bit of external support

M: exactly, great idea! I like the term “external support”. How about a night on the town?
L: (Ha??) Sorry, feeling of de ja vu – didn’t we just conclude you and your wife are getting external support? (who is not ME, you jerk!)

M: what does external support mean?
L: you said it was a good idea – what did you think was a good idea?

M: I thought you meant support as in seeking something outside the marriage (See why I suggested you get a gag bag??)
L: Right, external support (last time I try to be diplomatic!) – a marriage counselor

M: we’ve done that. it isn’t easy
L: well, easy is not exactly what I associate with relationships, especially long ones that involve kids

M: lol yes you are correct… and then I meet someone like you who’s smart and pretty and makes it challenging
just being honest with you (I SO wish you weren’t, that’s just pathetic!!!)
L: And someone completely unattainable who is totally not into flirting with married men

M: shit i’m sorry… do you not find me desirable at all since i’m married? (I am starting to wonder if this guy has a learning disability of some sort and yet I am still horrified!)
L: Matthew, I am now officially uncomfortable

M: ok no more talk like this, i should have never started it and I’m sorry. let’s clear the slate. i appreciate your honesty. and sorry for being a flirt
L: ok, I have to go work now (and gag)

Enough said, no? I am off to take another looong shower in attempts to forget this conversation ever happened. I’d appreciate any insights into the learning disability / mental handicap this man might possibly be afflicted with. Because that’s the only possible explanation I can come to. No one can be that stupid / dense / creepy, right?!


2 responses to “Nooo! Not the married guy again!

  1. Hi Lillie,

    In regards to Mr. Creepy married guy – I’ve had conversations similar to this one. I don’t know how you met him, but there are guys, especially on the internet dating sites, I find, who end up married…and yet, still want to hook up. They just don’t get it, …..

    Don’t give up!


  2. You’re right, we can meet creepy people everywhere, professional conferences, internet, grocery lines… If nothing else, it makes for entertaining blog entries 😉

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