Have you ever been with someone who talks about themselves incessantly, non-stop and seriously considers themselves fascinating? They barely ask questions and when they finally do and you try to respond, they switch the topic right back to themselves. Hmmm, now that I think about it, this describes at least 95% of my conversations with men (and perhaps 75% with people in general).
At a birthday party this weekend I met Dave. Good looking (very). Smart (seemingly). Flirtatious (extremely). Entertaining (initially). Alas, the first positive impression, hopeful curiosity and that delicious feeling of anticipation quickly wore off as Dave, clearly thinking he was impressing the pants off of me, rambled on and on about himself. Within the first what-seemed-like-hours-but-must-have-been-just-minutes I learned that he has a successful business, CPR certification, knows several members of the band Menudo (the band) and owns a pit bull named Muffin. Ok, so I am making up Muffin, but I had to retreat into my imaginary world to keep awake! It’s all about self preservation!
Finally, David asked me what I like to do. Quite original – forgive me, I did say I wanted a man who asks questions – so let’s give a man some credit for trying. But I must admit, by this point I had completely lost interest and was looking for the nearest escape rout. Half-heartedly I started saying that I love to travel, but he barely let me get it out before jumping in and excitedly blurting that he too loves to travel and that his last trip to Vegas rocked! I gave up. If someone isn’t naturally curious enough to ask questions or polite enough to let me finish a thought, I am DONE!
Why are we forced in school to take classes like calculus (you can probably tell I am a word not a math person) and broom ball (nope, not kidding – I had to take it in h.s.) but no one bothers to teach us basic PEOPLE skills. You know, ones that might actually come in handy for the rest of our lives? Hey, maybe that’s a business idea – classes to teach people how to interact with other humans without numbing their minds by talking about me, me, me, me, ME! Or maybe it’s not a business, maybe it’s a charity that sends out “good will ambassadors” to bars, clubs and birthday parties everywhere and stops people after a few minutes of “me” spiel and forces them to ask questions about the person they’re trying to impress. OR maybe it’s a device that counts “Is” and “MEs” and zaps the perpetrator with a mild electric shock when they reach the limit of “mes” in any given conversation? Ok, I’ll stop here, but I think you get my point.
So, how often do you get trapped in conversations with people who only talk about themselves without any apparent interest in YOU? Do you find there’s a difference between men and women’s natural inquisitiveness? Do men or women ask more questions? Any good “me me me” date stories?